Cousins' Party?

Recently I went to a family gathering with my cousins on my mother’s side of the family. It was actually something out of the ordinary. Most of the time, we only got together as a group on holidays or weddings or funerals.

This time, the primary purpose was to say farewell to my aunt who was moving back to her native England. It was kind of a sad occasion. My daughter is quite close to my aunt. But, I suppose, in this day and age, distance is of lessening concern when you think that we can turn on a computer and talk via a web cam. Still, nothing beats seeing family in person.

I had already been thinking about it when my one cousin suggested having a cousins’ party once a year. It’s something we do with some irregularity with my wife’s family. It would be great to have that family closeness. It’s something I’ve always wanted and something that would be good for my daughter to get to know where she comes from.

It would be easy to have my cousins from my mother’s side get together every year. I wouldn’t even mind having it at my own home to have some traditional consistency. It seems that may be what it will take to continue the cousins’ party with my wife’s family. But for the cousins on my father’s side there is a singular problem.

My cousins from dad are scattered all over the country. Like me, they mostly come from modest means. Having a tradition where we all get together every year would be almost impossible, as well as a logistical nightmare. What I was thinking about for this side of the family that we have something about every other year or every five years and all get together in a central location.

It still may be problematic, though I would seriously consider it. Save up for it like a special vacation. I have some cousins on this side of the family that I have never met. Some I have not seen in years. And I worry that the distance, both geographical and emotional, will serve only to drive us further apart.

I want to be a part of my cousins’ lives. I want them to be a part of mine. I want to be able to look and see – to know – my family. As much of them as I can. Maybe it’s a dream I can place in the “some day” column of my life. But it’s a dream I don’t think I can give up on. If I don’t care or try, how can I expect others in my family to care. And then what will become of the family?

Me and My Cousins

It has been decades since I last saw my cousin, Laura. We were just kids then. When I found her it was like a dream come true. I had found a missing piece of our family. Tonight we met for the first time in all those many years. I was with our cousins Carolyn and Michele. We almost didn't recognize her as she came into the yard. She seemed not to recognize us, either. But there was a connection there that only exists with the bonds of close family ties. When I hugged her it was like a compulsion had overwhelmed me, telling me not to let her go for fear of losing her again. She seemed close to tears when she saw all of us. I have to say I felt the same.

My cousins are all older than I am. Michele and Laura only by a few months. It was almost like an older sister coming home.

Usually at these yearly meetings, we lament on those who are no longer with us. This year we got to celebrate one of us coming home.

Laura came with her boyfriend. He seems to make her genuinely happy. It is good to see family happy. And she seemed happy to be with us.

I wish I had more time to spend with her tonight. Unfortunately, other familial duties took precedence. Still, I wish that she and I and Carolyn and Michele could have sat together, just the cousins by the light of the bonfire that Michele's husband Tony usually sets ablaze after the sun goes down and talked.

I've always wanted a sense of closeness to my family. I think I'm getting it. Michele is great. We grew up interested in some of the same things. I think of us as close. She and Tony are very good together. Because of them, we have a venue to meet with each other at least once a year. A time when I am once again "Little Bobby". A time to be with family. People I care about greatly.

Carolyn lives close to her sister. Her husband, John, is a great guy. Many a time it has been Tony, John and I trying to keep out of trouble from our significant others during the times we are together. They have a bright and energetic little boy who will grow and now the love of family around him.

But the highpoint of tonight was Laura. No one knows how much I had been waiting for this. I love my family, even though sometimes I don't show it very well. I hate being apart from them. Maybe it's because growing up I didn't feel like I had that close family structure. Now I yearn for it. It felt so good to hold and touch and talk to my cousin again. Relive old memories and the hopes of making new ones. I hope she doesn't stay along that long again. She is family, a part of who I am. She has added to the person I have become. I hope she likes this me. I hope the next time we get together is not too far off.

Love you, Laura, Carolyn and Michele.

Bobby