Me and My Cousins

It has been decades since I last saw my cousin, Laura. We were just kids then. When I found her it was like a dream come true. I had found a missing piece of our family. Tonight we met for the first time in all those many years. I was with our cousins Carolyn and Michele. We almost didn't recognize her as she came into the yard. She seemed not to recognize us, either. But there was a connection there that only exists with the bonds of close family ties. When I hugged her it was like a compulsion had overwhelmed me, telling me not to let her go for fear of losing her again. She seemed close to tears when she saw all of us. I have to say I felt the same.

My cousins are all older than I am. Michele and Laura only by a few months. It was almost like an older sister coming home.

Usually at these yearly meetings, we lament on those who are no longer with us. This year we got to celebrate one of us coming home.

Laura came with her boyfriend. He seems to make her genuinely happy. It is good to see family happy. And she seemed happy to be with us.

I wish I had more time to spend with her tonight. Unfortunately, other familial duties took precedence. Still, I wish that she and I and Carolyn and Michele could have sat together, just the cousins by the light of the bonfire that Michele's husband Tony usually sets ablaze after the sun goes down and talked.

I've always wanted a sense of closeness to my family. I think I'm getting it. Michele is great. We grew up interested in some of the same things. I think of us as close. She and Tony are very good together. Because of them, we have a venue to meet with each other at least once a year. A time when I am once again "Little Bobby". A time to be with family. People I care about greatly.

Carolyn lives close to her sister. Her husband, John, is a great guy. Many a time it has been Tony, John and I trying to keep out of trouble from our significant others during the times we are together. They have a bright and energetic little boy who will grow and now the love of family around him.

But the highpoint of tonight was Laura. No one knows how much I had been waiting for this. I love my family, even though sometimes I don't show it very well. I hate being apart from them. Maybe it's because growing up I didn't feel like I had that close family structure. Now I yearn for it. It felt so good to hold and touch and talk to my cousin again. Relive old memories and the hopes of making new ones. I hope she doesn't stay along that long again. She is family, a part of who I am. She has added to the person I have become. I hope she likes this me. I hope the next time we get together is not too far off.

Love you, Laura, Carolyn and Michele.

Bobby

She Did It!

Yesterday, Kelley earned lifetime achievement at Weight Watchers. She met her goal weight. Took it off and kept it off! Way to go Kel!

It's Coming!

STAR TREK X

SUMMER 2009

Rob's Red-Hot Fajitas

What you'll need:

1 pound or more (0.5 kg) sirloin, round, brisket or favorite steak (or use chicken).

Salt

Ground black pepper

Ground cyan pepper

Ground chili pepper or chili powder

Ground cumin

Garlic clove

Steak sauce (like A1)

1/2 onion

1 bell pepper

If you want to marinade the meat for a few hours before cooking, mix some soy sauce in with the steak sauce and let the meat marinate in the mix.

Cut the meat into small pieces or cubes. Coat the bottom of a pan with a sprinkling of salt and start the meat in the pan with the burner on low to medium. As the meat begins to cook, sprinkle on some ground black pepper. There are no exact measurements; it's all to taste. Let the meat cook some more and absorb the salt and pepper. You may notice a dark brine forming from the salt and pepper. It would be good to use as lean a piece of meat as you can to avoid all the fat that may also get in there. While the beef (or chicken) is still cooking and browning, sprinkle on the cyan pepper and then the chili powder, letting the meat some time to absorb the peppers in as it cooks. Sprinkle on some cumin. Cut up a clove of garlic into small pieces and then stir them into the mix. Make sure to stir the pan often, especially after each ingredient added to make sure that it's mixed well.

Pour in a generous amount of steak sauce. This will add a zing and cut the spice a little.

Once the meat is close to browned and coated with the steak sauce, chop up half an onion and mix it into the pan. Before you cut the onion, try running cold water over it to keep your eyes from watering when you cut it. It is probably a good idea to have the exhaust fan above your stove on, too, as the peppers will be opening the ole sinuses.

Let the onions get brown and coated in the sauce. Cut a bell pepper into strips. Remove the pan from the heat and add the peppers.

You can also chop up a fresh tomato and shred some cheese as a topping. Warm up some flat tortillas.

Wrap and enjoy! Just have some water nearby.

. . . And Then There Was Me . . .

Only those of us who have gone through it can really understand it. Depression is one of those things you have to experience to fully appreciate.
What kills you is the ultimate feeling of loneliness. Like you are the only person in the world. Or that no one cares about you. It is a feeling of total seperation from people around you; friends, family, co-workers. You feel worthless or you undervalue yourself. You doubt your abilities and how much you might mean to others.
You try so hard to reach out for some type of human contact. Some indication that there is a someone there to catch you when you feel unsteady. You know there is someone, but still you doubt.
Doubt. Another way to sum up what depression is like. Never ending doubt. Doubt and lonliness. Twin killers.
Depression isn't a momentary moment of sadness. It is a condition that needs to be treated. Those of us who suffer from depression know it is an uphill struggle each day. We mostly hide in the shadows that something is wrong. We fight a silent battle against an enemy that exists only in our own minds.
A battle I intend to ultimately win.

The Great Bird of the Galaxy (Aug. 19)

Happy Birthday, Gene. I never met you in person, but your creation has spawned such wonder in my life.

Birthday Wishes

I know I don't tell her often enough, but I'm glad Iulia is my friend. She has always been there with a kind word and a vote of confidence. Ocassionally she has been there with a swift kick in the rear when I've needed it.

Saturday Iulia turned 23 years. Happy Birthday my friend! Best wishes and the hope that your birthday dreams come true.

Love,

Rob

IN MEMORIA

It has been 20 years. Twenty long years. Everyone loses someone at some time. But there are always those that cut you to the core. This is one of those.

She has always been my beacon and my guide. She was my protector, my mentor and my role model. She lived through the depression, WWII, raised 7 children in a home smaller than one built for a family of 3. She helped raise over a dozen grandchildren (me among them) and did it all with only one arm.

My grandmother was a person you didn't cross, but also someone you looked up to. She seemed to have all the answers.

When she got sick, all she wanted was to come home. To be with her family. Sadly, this was not to be.

But for nearly all of those 20 years on this date, I go to visit her and tell her what has been happening in my life. Twenty years and I am still trying to earn her approval. I hope that I can measure up to her memory. Not that I need try. I am my grandmother's grandson. That's important to me. Her blood runs through my veins and, hopefully, a piece of her.



We all need someone like that. Someone we build up to almost mythic proportions. A person to aspire to be like for the altruistic qualities you remember them for.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Yesterday, August 8th, was my wife's 30th birthday. She looks pretty good, doesn't she? Now I can joke and call her old. They grey hairs will come and I will probably giver her most of them! Guarantee that I will probably give her every one! Thirty is a milestone. You're not too old, but you are old enough to use some of those life experiences to help you make those increasingly big decisions. But, as they say, life is like a rollercoaster. We're all just on for the ride!
Well, Happy Birthday, Honey! Like fine wine and cheese, you get better and better with age!

The Facts of Life

This is our home. It has existed for 4.5 billion years. Born by fire and the gases of our forming parent star. It has changed dramatically. It changed from a hellfire to world of blue oceans and tectonically active land masses.

It took some time before life invaded this tiny world. After being bombarded by comets and asteroids and debris from the forming solar system, amino acids came together to form protiens and the first beginings of life. Single celled organisms became bacteria and evolved further still. Most life thrived in the premordial oceans and left to dwell on the changing land.

Most of us remember the dinosaur. The Great Lizard who ruled the Earth 3.5 million years ago. A footnote in the annals of the univers. There was life before them. There was life after them. Their reign was brief.

Just over 1 million years ago, creatures that would one day evolve to become us emerged onto the landscape. As is the way with things, the strong survived. They adapted to the challenges they faced and their changing environment. They migrated from what is now central africa to populate the globe. We are them.

No matter if you are black, white or Latino. Whether you are American, Romanian, Italian or Irish. Whether male, female, transgendered; heterosexual, homosexual, metrosexual or bisexual. We are all human. We now have the capacity to shape our environment instead of our environment shaping us. We have the power to make dramatic changes; for good and for ill. We remain the only creature known to have existed ever on this planet capable of killing one of our own kind without purpose.

We war for land and power. We dehumanize those who are different. We fear what we do not understand. In the end we fear ourselves. We war against our brothers and sisters. We create chaos.

We have only lived on this blue/green orb a short time. We have accomplished much in our short history. There is much that we still can accomplish. We are all one race and one community. And we are not alone.

Look to the skies once in a while. Think of the countless worlds circling the countless stars that twinkle above the horizon. Ask yourself, "What is out there?" Remind yourself that the accomplishments we make and the discoveries we make are there for all mankind. Only together can we find balance and the peace for which everyone longs for.